The Muse. February 2022. Watercolor and acrylic on watercolor paper. This is the first official painted nude I have ever done, other than those created in art school. There's quite alot of symbolism here with moody skies and the bug like wings. Already you are sensing beauty with a bit of snarkiness. I went back and forth for many weeks wondering what the consequences were of producing such an image. But I decided to go ahead leaning on a remembered statement from a trusted art instructor. She said, if you're just doing pretty pictures you're a fake, but if you pull something from the heart, people will feel the integrity of it, agree with it because of potential life similarities.
She's not any one woman in particular but many I have known.. Captivating and hypnotizing. Memories of the absolute giddy feeling of being loved, and being carried away wholly into another beautiful place. These mountain top experiences driven by that love takes creativity to new levels. This is the purest sense of the word , muse. However, over time reality sets in, the wheels fall off, expsoing the emotional ugliness, lies, and sometimes deception. But you love anyway until it dies. After these events your mind and heart are leached empty and your creativity flies away, drying up. I was always taken by Albrecht Durer's, "Melancholia." A self portrait where the artist sits sadly besides his unfinished works. There is an experience of pure beauty when a woman does really love you, and you look at her seeing all her flaws but you still feel blessed thinking she was created just for you.
In the Autumn of 2021 I endured a traumatic time of overhaul and revival. The only thing I could compare it to was a metamorphosis, (inside out change) and a total change of my mind, heart and thoughts. Every thought during that time was mostly agonizing, and heartbreaking looking backward at my life, and poor decisions over the years, which would surface at the worst times....with tears. I lost 35 pounds, lived in regret and fell into a deep depression. Months passed. When I felt my creativity was finally beginning to come back, just weeks ago I knew I had to sketch out this idea which was very close to the heart. This painting is a memorial to that concept.
The muse is a figment of our imagination. I woke up one morning last week hearing the words, "Don't be illusioned but be disillusioned. Illusioned means deception. Disillusioned means truth was discovered about something/someone good or bad, and you realize you were wrong... all along. A quick translation may mean, be careful and don't believe everything you see or hear. Things are not what they seem. The muse is only skin deep but real love is total and complete.
She's not any one woman in particular but many I have known.. Captivating and hypnotizing. Memories of the absolute giddy feeling of being loved, and being carried away wholly into another beautiful place. These mountain top experiences driven by that love takes creativity to new levels. This is the purest sense of the word , muse. However, over time reality sets in, the wheels fall off, expsoing the emotional ugliness, lies, and sometimes deception. But you love anyway until it dies. After these events your mind and heart are leached empty and your creativity flies away, drying up. I was always taken by Albrecht Durer's, "Melancholia." A self portrait where the artist sits sadly besides his unfinished works. There is an experience of pure beauty when a woman does really love you, and you look at her seeing all her flaws but you still feel blessed thinking she was created just for you.
In the Autumn of 2021 I endured a traumatic time of overhaul and revival. The only thing I could compare it to was a metamorphosis, (inside out change) and a total change of my mind, heart and thoughts. Every thought during that time was mostly agonizing, and heartbreaking looking backward at my life, and poor decisions over the years, which would surface at the worst times....with tears. I lost 35 pounds, lived in regret and fell into a deep depression. Months passed. When I felt my creativity was finally beginning to come back, just weeks ago I knew I had to sketch out this idea which was very close to the heart. This painting is a memorial to that concept.
The muse is a figment of our imagination. I woke up one morning last week hearing the words, "Don't be illusioned but be disillusioned. Illusioned means deception. Disillusioned means truth was discovered about something/someone good or bad, and you realize you were wrong... all along. A quick translation may mean, be careful and don't believe everything you see or hear. Things are not what they seem. The muse is only skin deep but real love is total and complete.